I picked up this book at the library a couple months ago. When my son was diagnosed with ADHD, I wanted to read everything I could about it. However, I kept avoiding that book because I was afraid it would preach at me. I really don’t like to be preached at. But the last time I was at the library, I felt a little voice tell me to grab it, and so I did.
Once I started reading it, I couldn’t put it down. It was as if the author could read my mind and all the little worries and questions I had about ADHD and lay them bare before me.
The author, David Stein, started out talking about Ritalin and other ADHD drugs. He stated that these drugs are stimulants, similar to cocaine, and we don’t know why they help like they do. So he argued, why would we give our children potent drugs when we don’t know why they help? Why indeed?
Then he talked about some of the causes of ADHD. He believes that the reason we’ve seen such a rise in the numbers of kids diagnosed as ADHD is because we are distracted. Ouch, that hurt. Especially since I noticed that whenever my family has a “normal” week in which we are in our daily routine, my son does much better at behaving in school. When we have a crazy week in which we are running from activity to activity, my son acts up in school. Hmm, is there a pattern there?
Granted, my other children can stand crazy weeks and normal weeks without becoming behavioral problems, true. But all that tells me is that my son is sensitive, and instead of giving my sensitive son drugs, wouldn’t it be better for me to alter my family’s routine? Some food for thought there.
Another point he makes, and this is one that has bothered me before, is that if five or more percent of children are ADHD, how is that a disease? That high of a number would indicate that such behavior is normal. YES, I shouted in my mind, IT WOULD, WOULDN’T IT! So maybe instead of changing my son, I should change the way I am relating to him.
So he lays out a discipline plan that I’ve been trying. Very simply put, it is this: when I see any little discipline issue, I immediately tell my child “Go to timeout.” My child then needs to stay there until he calms down, a minimum of 10 minutes. He must not do anything during this time but stare at the wall, quietly. This must be done at the first sign of any bad behavior - with no warning! And it must be consistant. When he is done with timeout, I should ask him “Why were you in timeout?” and he needs to be able to tell me with no prompting on my part. If he can’t tell me, back in the chair. The reason for this, the author says, is that we have to prompt our ADHD kids to think before they do. That is a lot of their problem, he says. They don’t think, and therefore, they get into trouble. Forcing them to remember why they got in trouble will help them to process it in their mind.
So we’ve been doing this, and it really has helped! Ironically, my ADHD son gets it more than my other laid back son! He will go immediately to the chair and sit quietly, while my other son writhes and cries on the floor in front of the chair.
So, woo-hoo! Kudos to the author! Of course, this won’t solve all my problems with him, but it’s a start. He will start school this week (back to the public school – yikes), so I have no idea if it will help his behavior, but I’m hopeful!
I’m not trying to preach to any other parents out there, but just to say that this book addressed a lot of the little questions that bothered my about ADHD treatment. So if you have those little questions too, read the book and let me know what you think.
And of course I’m going to keep giving him high protein breakfasts, and no chocolate, and praying for him, and such. (Doesn’t every child need all of that?) And monitoring him to make sure he's not feeling depressed, talking to his teacher, and involving him in high energy activities. I’ll let you know how public school goes.
