Musings of a mom... with three very different, but wonderful children... primarily talking about ADHD related stuff... but could talk about anything.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Where Does Romance Go After Marriage?

I've asked myself this question many times after marriage - where does the romance go? It seems that once the ring is on the woman's finger, the husband gives a big sigh of relief, "whew, I made it, she's mine, now on to the rest of my life..." and immediately starts planning what he's going to do with his free time. The wife is thinking, "Yes, romance is mine forever!" and immediately starts planning what to do within all the time they'll spend together. Anyone who has been married for more than a year knows the both of the above views are unrealistic. But I've learned that romance doesn't disappear, it just changes colors in order to adjust to a new lifestyle, like a chameleon changes colors to adapt to his environment.

So, here are some of the places romance goes...

1. It moves to the kitchen, like today when I needed a break from my exhausting day, so I left the dinner table to take 10 minutes, and 20 minutes later, when I made it downstairs, I found my husband leading the kids in a rapid-fire home clean-up. Now that is romance! Seriously, that is more romantic than roses on a day like today.

2. It moves to the backyard, where my husband leads the kids in a rousing round of imaginary pirate conquests, even after he's come home from a long, exhausting day at work.

3. It moves to 11 pm on a weeknight when we finally get the kids to bed and the house semi-picked up and put in a movie to steal some alone time. Who needs to be awake for work anyway?

4. It moves to 4 am when my husband acknowledges my barely audible pleas for him to get out of bed and see what our 2 year old is crying about, and uncomplainingly hauls himself into the nursery to change a wet diaper, wet crib and wet toddler.

5. And it's still there in the rare dinners out that end up costing us a day's wages because of the arm and leg we need to pay the babysitter.