No TV Good for Mom & Kids

The week of No TV (with a few exceptions) went suprisingly well. It was hard for all of us, myself especially, because I had to come up with other things for the kids to do. That involves using my brain and a little energy! That's too much to ask in the evening! But it was better all around. Benefits include:

** kids actually getting chores done b/c not watching TV
** no fighting about what to watch
** myself having to engage with the kids instead of disengage, which I've found is my default mode
** kids getting homework done before 5 minutes before school

About the disengage mode... God definitely was showing me that it was my default mothering mode. But why? I was very engaged when kids were little. I was very engaged for the first 5 or so years of mothering. But I have become disengaged now.

I think the reason is that I couldn't get all my to-dos done and engage with the kids as well. So I chose to-dos over kids. AWFUL MOTHER. AWFUL AWFUL MOTHER. I know, I am exaggerating, but when I write it out, it really seems awful. Such a classic defense mechanism. Who knew that I would want to defend myself against my kids? I never dreamed it would be so hard. But I lived up to others' expecatations for so long, and my own expectations, and those are impossible to keep up with. I need to focus on God's expecations. Now that I am much more aware of this, I have been realizing when I would just lazily go along with others' expectations and have been able to stop it a bit. But I just now, while writing this blog, have realized how it affects my relationship with my kids.

That's why I recommend blog writing to all! It's like free therapy!