Musings of a mom... with three very different, but wonderful children... primarily talking about ADHD related stuff... but could talk about anything.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Ah, The Rules...

Just wanted to give a brief update on our implementation of rules. Interestingly, my KIDS keep adding to the rule list! Can't believe it!

Original list of rules:
1. No whining/crying (unless injured)
2. No fighting
3. No hitting or kicking

Rules added by children:

4. Obey mom and dad (my 6 year old added this one)
5. No name calling (another good one)

It's working, it's working! Now if only Mom (aka me) wouldn't give "second chances" my kids would be in discipline heaven...

"Mom, just put him in the naughty chair NOW, he doesn't deserve a second chance!"

But God gives them, so why not I?

Saturday, April 12, 2008

The Power of the Media

I try really hard not to get too political. It's very hard for me, but I do try. I don't really think what I'm going to say is political, but some people will think it is.

The media does know what power they have to change the world. What they don't realize is how that power is supposed to be applied neutrally. Most of them, however, think they already know how the world should be, and so they write in such a way to enforce their opinions. What they don't realize is that GOOD PEOPLE have been arguing how the world should work FOREVER. They do not have the corner on morality. What they have the corner on is what people read, and they need to realize that their DUTY is to report it as it is, not packaged into something that will CHANGE THE WORLD ON THEIR TERMS.

The reason I am ranting and raving is this article by John R Lott Jr.:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,343671,00.html

An important quote:

"A Nexis search on news stories during the three-month period from July 2000 through September 2000 using the keywords “economy recession US” produces 1,388. By contrast, the same search over just the last month finds 3,166. Or, even more telling, take the three months from July through September last year, when the GDP was growing at a phenomenal 4.9 percent. The same type of Google search shows 2,475 news stories."

"Over 78 percent more negative news stories discussed a recession when the economy under a Republican was soaring than occurred under a Democrat when the economy was shrinking."

To the media: You have power. But as a very wise man once said: with much power comes much responsiblity. Report it like IT IS. I don't want to hear what you think it should be, I don't want you to report because you want to change the world. TRUTH will change the world. SO REPORT THE TRUTH.

Forgive me for my rant.


Friday, April 11, 2008

No TV Good for Mom & Kids

The week of No TV (with a few exceptions) went suprisingly well. It was hard for all of us, myself especially, because I had to come up with other things for the kids to do. That involves using my brain and a little energy! That's too much to ask in the evening! But it was better all around. Benefits include:

** kids actually getting chores done b/c not watching TV
** no fighting about what to watch
** myself having to engage with the kids instead of disengage, which I've found is my default mode
** kids getting homework done before 5 minutes before school

About the disengage mode... God definitely was showing me that it was my default mothering mode. But why? I was very engaged when kids were little. I was very engaged for the first 5 or so years of mothering. But I have become disengaged now.

I think the reason is that I couldn't get all my to-dos done and engage with the kids as well. So I chose to-dos over kids. AWFUL MOTHER. AWFUL AWFUL MOTHER. I know, I am exaggerating, but when I write it out, it really seems awful. Such a classic defense mechanism. Who knew that I would want to defend myself against my kids? I never dreamed it would be so hard. But I lived up to others' expecatations for so long, and my own expectations, and those are impossible to keep up with. I need to focus on God's expecations. Now that I am much more aware of this, I have been realizing when I would just lazily go along with others' expectations and have been able to stop it a bit. But I just now, while writing this blog, have realized how it affects my relationship with my kids.

That's why I recommend blog writing to all! It's like free therapy!