Why Won't My Children Listen to Me?

I was dragging my four year old son up the stairs to put him in bed three hours before his bed time, when I wondered, why doesn't he listen to me? I had made a simple request, "DO NOT turn on the water hose." But still he walked right over to the outside faucet and turned on the hose. He knew that he would have to go inside early. He knew there would be consequences. But he went ahead and did it.

Why did he do it? Because his life agenda is different than mine. His life agenda is to explore, experiment, and otherwise have as much fun as possible. His life agenda does not match my agenda for him. As I work to train him properly, I realize that he needs to follow the rules, contribute to the household, be considerate of others, and learn to read, all while taking out time for having fun. But the first four items on my agenda for him are not on his agenda, resulting in his disobediance.

My daughter's agenda aligns more closely with mine. As the first born, she naturally embraces the responsibility of helping the household. She understands the need for learning and for chores, along with fun. As a result, she rarely disobeys me. Is that because she's a better child than my son? No, it is because her agenda naturally aligns more closely with mine.
My goal is to help my son expand his agenda to include others. Currently his agenda is narrow and focused only on himself. My job is to broaden his outlook, persuade him that being considerate of others and helping around the house is something worthy of his time and attention, and find ways to allow him to pursue his other goals, such as exploration and experimentation. On my side, I need to better understand his desire to experiment, so I can provide outlets for his enthusiasm, and possibly help him channel it productively. We've started out very far apart in our life views. I hope and pray that by the time he is 18, we'll be much closer.